Archive for » September, 2010 «

September 30th, 2010 | Author:

So, for the past fifteen nights (or so, that number is totally pulled out of my ass) I’ve lain awake waiting to see if my brain is going to settle down into some kind of calmness that will allow me to sleep.  Mostly this is because I’ve been under some stress, but last night it was because I did something really stupid, something I know better than to do:

I drank Diet Coke after 4 PM.

For most people, this is not a big deal.  For me, it ensures tossing and turning for most of the night.  It’s why I gave up (most) caffeine last Christmas.  I do it, I berate myself, I forget, I repeat.


During this down-time I’ve found myself with, I’ve been pretty productive.  I cooked 2 weeks worth of meals (once-a-month cooking, family style is the term to google or search amazon) which has worked out pretty well.  Since we are a small family, just the three of us, we eat for a couple of dinners and couple of lunches from one of these meals.  It’s lasted a lot longer than 2 weeks.

I’m catching up on doctor’s and dentist appointments.

I got a new iPhone4.  On my first iPhone4, the anti-glare or anti-reflective, or whatever it is that coats the camera lens on the back was chipping or peeling or something – is that clear as mud?  Anyway, the end result was that all of my pictures looked like I was taking them in dry ice or fog.  Thirty minutes at the Apple store, and I had a new phone, but was missing 2 weeks of pictures/texts/voicemails.  Oh, well.  The trade-offs.

I’m certainly catching up on my Netflix queue.  I mean, 1 season of Obsessed, re-watched 1 season of Hoarders, and 2 seasons of Intervention in the past 2 weeks is pretty darn good.   A couple of actual movies in there.  Yes, I need to get out more.

Oh, there’s been the gym and the dog park, and the farmer’s market, and of course Sacred Friday Breakfast with the Besties.


Aloof kitty is spending more time hanging out with me.


OH, remember when I wondered what else could happen?  I shouldn’t ask these questions.  DH came home that very night and told me he’d been rear-ended.  While driving my car.  On his way home from the funeral for a local 23-year old killed in Iraq.  His day really sucked.

OK these are all the tidbits and thought vomit, to quote Jody, that has been floating around for a week.  I need a cohesive post soon – and it will come.  Soon.

Category: General  | 2 Comments
September 20th, 2010 | Author:

I mean, there are the obvious answers, like “Go get a job, girl.” and don’t get me wrong, I’m looking.  But in the meantime…  what now?  On typical days, so far, I get up, I get TheKidlet on the bus, I go to the gym, I gather up the pooches and take them to the dog park, I run whatever errands need to be run, and then I come home to meet TheKidlet when she gets off the bus.  I look for jobs for a couple of hours.  We work on dinner, we eat dinner, we read and we go to bed.  Lather rinse repeat.

Which, all in all, is not bad.  I get time with the besties (CC at the gym, CC and CK and BE and whoever else at the dog park) and I’m out and about which keeps me awake (long post on sleep issues will come soon) but I’m not…. I dunno, it seems silly to say fulfilled, or happy, or, challenged, or whatever.  I just feel “blah”.  I don’t really have a purpose to my days.  TheKidlet is in school, and I am not the type to devote myself to keeping the house clean or making sure that dinner is cooked.

It’s so odd – I hated the job I just lost.  Seriously hated it.  I was appalled at the amount of time that I took as PTO.  Because I hated getting up and going in.  Hated it.  (I liked the people, for the most part.  I just hated that I wasn’t getting to do what I was hired to do.)

So, that’s what my question is …. what’s now? What is in the future for me?  I guess all I can do is hang on and hope the ride isn’t bumpy.

Category: General  | Comments off
September 06th, 2010 | Author:

I think I want a do-over of the past week.

Monday, I learn that a former co-worker from the last company I worked for passed away.  I really liked him.  I was in a funk all day – sad.

I learned of this at our “farewell” lunch for the owner of the company; he sold out to a larger company.

So by noon, I already knew it was going to be a shitty week.  I mean, there’s death, job uncertainty, and frankly, only halfway decent eggplant chinese dish.  I mean, where can the week go from there?

If you’re me?

Downhill.  On a sled.  Sliding down a hill covered in shit.  To be dumped into a cesspool of toxic sludge.

Tuesday was uneventful.

Wednesday I was at work by 8:40 and on my way home by 9:20.  With a box full of belongings that had previously been on my desk.  And a letter outlining my severance package.

Really I was only mildly concerned, which may seem odd since I’d just been laid off.  But I’d been in discussions for weeks with my former employer, for various reasons.  I was 99% there, so I just needed to close the deal.

Friday comes along, and right as I thought I was climbing out of the cesspool of sludge, someone came along and pushed me right back down into it:  my former employer said no.

Deep breath, Pammie, that’s all you can do.

Category: General  | 2 Comments