Thursday, January 27th, 2011 | Author:
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But you know, it wasn’t a heat at all.  Yeah, so it’s JANUARY.  I expect the dry heat in ARIZONA to be … well, hot.  Or at least warm.

Instead, it was pretty much cold.  Not that I packed for that.

So… this is what went down.

I was scheduled to fly out on Wednesday morning.  Sunday, my mom came up to help with TheKidlet.   Monday, we shopped.  Or my, did we shop.  I love when my mom comes up, I get to shop with impunity.  Anyway, Tuesday morning at about 0500, TheKidlet came into my room and said the four worst words ever:

Mommy, I threw up.

She ended up in the bed with me, garbage can at her side.  For the next twelve hours, I held her hand and her hair while she threw up, repeatedly.   Bless my mom, she cleaned up when it was necessary.  I’m totally not good with puke.  At one point, though, I totally had to laugh, as my 9 year old was sitting in the bathroom with her back against the wall, legs splayed in front of her – looking exactly like she’d had a very rough night, indeed.

Wednesday morning, I fly out to Phoenix, catch a ride to Scottsdale, and then catch another ride  to the Fort McDowell Resort and Casino.  All is well.  I meet, I greet, I eat, and I head up to my room to …. well.  Turns out, sleep is not on the agenda.  Turns out, what TheKidlet had was CONTAGIOUS.   I spend the next 9 hours curled up on the bathroom floor, wondering what the fuck just happened.

Thursday, I am in gift shop, first thing – I needed the pink stuff.  Thankfully, they do have some, and I stock up.  I eat it like candy – which is my only sustenance for the whole day.  Thinking about food makes me want to die.  Actually eating it might have done me in.  There is a group off-site dinner, something about eating under the stars.  I decline as I now have a fever.  I  head back to my room at 5:30 and take a Xanax.

No, it didn’t help with the fever.  But it did help knock me out completely so that I didn’t have that hazy-hotel-sleep that is never very satisfying.

Friday, it’s much better.  The fever is gone.  I mean, I’m still eating Pepto-Bismol, but I am also managing small amounts of real food without dying.  And then…

Really?  Add insult to injury and all that stuff. Hives.  Are you kidding me?

So now I’m eating Pepto like candy but I’ve added the side dish of Benadryl to it.  I make it through the day, and head to dinner at a Hawaiian fusion place called Roy’s.   I highly recommend it if you’re in the Scottsdale area.    About the time my eighth Benadryl kicked in, I was done.

Saturday… fly home.  Keep up with the Pepto and the Benadryl.  Make it home, and honestly, fall out.   Oh, the end product of this lovely little virus is a slight cold that feels more like mono – there’s a major energy drain going on.

Sunday, earlier than is generally humanly possible – mom leaves half her tires on my driveway, in her haste to leave.  I asked her today if she wanted to come back.  I think she’s still laughing.

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